NOT The End
Self-Help BOOK
Fiction BOOKS
Self Care Part 1
Self Care Part 2
Self Care Part 3
My Philosophy
Creative People
OK to Be Happy

Give yourself total permission to feel whatever you are feeling!  Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do.  You might be feeling terrified, numb, hopeless, hopeful, unsympathetic, enraged, wordless, agitated, immature, hypersensitive or irrationally happy.  

There is no right way to feel, but you will get better sleep at night (which is very important) if you allow yourself to feel lots of wide-ranging or intense emotions.


During scary, uncertain times it's important not to spin out on fear, but to treat it like an animal that needs respectful, caring attention. If a terrified rabbit turned up in your living room, you wouldn’t yell at it; you would be still, talk in a quiet, friendly tone, and try to wrap it up in a towel to soothe it.

If your own heart pounds, try to treat it like a frightened rabbit. Try breathing in normally and breathing out slowly, as this will naturally bring your nervous system closer to being balanced. If you feel like yawning, yawn away — another wonderful natural regulatory mechanism the body uses to bring us back from fight-or-flight. Feel your feet on the ground, feel the ground under you, make sure to drink fluids and eat something nourishing if you can. Call a friend or take a walk.

Don’t Get Used to Things That Upset You

There 's a relentless onslaught of news.

It might be feeling like every time you open your browser you get the wind knocked out of you. If you wake up in the morning, check your phone… a cloud of sadness and anxiety may settle over your entire day. You can’t live like this over the long term.  

So when it gets to be too much, it’s okay to unplug for a bit.  

Stop refreshing Twitter and reading the news. Stop feeling guilty when someone asks you if you’ve been following the latest story and you have to say no. Go a week or a day or even an hour without talking/reading/writing about what’s going on in Washington. It will still be there when you get back, I promise.  

This is really important, because at some point it will become too much to handle.  

You can cope by shutting it out for a while — binge watching Netflix, playing with your dog, going to yoga.   But if you don’t do that, if you try to maintain this fever pitch of anguish and fear and outrage, something far worse than a little down time is going to happen. Your brain, to protect you, will just turn down the volume on the outrage and adapt.  

People can get used to anything, and if you don’t take steps to prevent it, you will get used to it. 

It’s okay to resist the powerful urge to adapt to the new normal. But that doesn’t mean you have to live in a constant state of anxiety and anger. It means, when you do think about what upsets you politically, the appropriate feeling is outrage. But you can’t live like that all the time, and that means you have to spend a significant amount of time not thinking about it and all the work that has to be done.   I promise this will not make you a bad or a weak person.  

You will do more good if you make time for other conversations and non-political activities. It’s like taking a vacation from your job, which research has shown dramatically boosts productivity. Take a good long break, then come back refreshed and ready to work.  

Not every job has to be done by you, even if you’re the best at it. If social media trolls are giving you heart palpitations, you can let a tweet go un-answered. Even if you’re the most knowledgeable person at the dinner party, you don’t have to be the one to jump in when the conversation turns to politics. For that matter, you don’t have to show up to the dinner party if you know it’s going to turn into a debate.  

Be careful about social media!

Please pay attention to how you feel while you’re using social media (or compulsively checking).  Are you feeling a warm glow of connecting with friends, family and people you enjoy? That sounds good. But if you’re getting agitated, having fruitless arguments with strangers or if you find yourself ruminating about a Facebook post instead of sleeping at night, then try to switch to something less disturbing to your peace of mind.

Instead of being obsessed with your devices.  Go...Watch a movie. Call a friend. Give money or time to a good cause.

Focus Your Energy on One or Two Issues

You can’t show up to every march and donate to every cause. You can’t write treatises on every issue and argue with everyone you disagree with. 

If you want to be effective on anything, pick an issue or two that matter most to you and fight for them. Let the others go. 

Ignore people who say things like, “you’re not a real feminist if you aren’t working to protect the environment” or “you’re betraying the cause of economic justice if you don’t show up for prison reform.” That’s all nonsense. There is a spectrum of support, and nobody can be everywhere at once.  

Do not engage in activist one-upmanship, and don’t allow yourself to be shamed for not being fully briefed and up to date on everything, for not spending your days glued to CSPAN and Twitter, for not making someone else’s number one issue yours as well.  

That is a demand for emotional labor from you, and you do not have to give it.

You don’t have to suffer to make a difference

Go ahead and do things that are good for the world, but do them in ways that you personally enjoy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that humor is wrong, or that you aren’t allowed to be proud of your contribution, or that it’s unseemly to have fun while you’re doing serious work. That’s all bull, and it’s counterproductive to boot.  

Don’t forget to play to your strengths. There’s no need to force yourself to do a kind of work that you find unpleasant or boring.

If you’re a writer, write articles shedding light on important issues, convincing the other side or rallying your allies to action. If you’re an artist, make art with a conscience. Teachers can bring social justice into your curriculum. Lawyers can volunteer at free legal clinics, write amicus briefs, do pro bono work. Like to argue? Be the one who calls out the sexist comment at a dinner party when everyone else doesn’t know how to react. Love to bake? Bring cookies to activist meetings and homeless shelters.

No matter what your passion is, there’s a way to use it for good and have a great time doing it…and be patient with yourself if you don't know what to do....the right action will come if and when it comes to you!

                                Take Care of the Basics